“When a child dies, we lose part of ourselves as parents, part of our past and an enormous part of our future. Dreams are shattered. We miss our children physically and emotionally, minute by minute, and in the following years that seem to stretch without end , as time becomes a test of endurance… Bereaved parents belong to an exclusive club we never wanted to join in the first place, and membership is for the rest of our lives … It has affected who we are and all of our relationships. Every minute of every day has been changed. And as parent after parent said to me, ‘no one understands unless they’ve been through it.”
Bev Gatenby draws on her own experience of her daughter’s death and the experiences of many other parents she has interviewed to offer information and support to parents who have had a child of any age die. She acknowledges and describes the pain and loneliness of grieving, the complexities of the lives of bereaved parents, the changes in relationships, and the ways parents develop of being able to go on with their lives. She includes Maori perspectives on grief, a specific chapter on how children grieve, and offers suggestions for things parents might incorporate into their own grief work.
For the Rest of Our Lives: After the Death of a Child.
Gatenby, B. (1998).